Final Coming-of-Age Story

An old proverb about family reads "a tree is known by its fruit." If this adage is true, then I propose my family tree was designed Dr. Seuss - a large, crazy, and unique tree.

Chapter 1: The Parents

In which our hero begins an exciting new adventure

My mother is a self-employed accountant and works out of our house. One typical day when my dad was at work and I was at school, two people arrived on our front porch and knocked on the door. They were Mr. and Mrs. Crowley, two location managers working on an upcoming film production in Austin, Texas. They confronted my mom and asked her what she thought about the idea of shooting part of the movie in our house. Initially she was very skeptical, and told them to wait while she called my dad. She telephoned him at work asking for his advice.

“If they seem legitimate, invite them in and talk it over.”

She did just that. It turns out that as a child, John Crowley went to the same elementary school that I did, not more than three blocks from house. He know the neighborhood really well as a result, and thought the location, and more specifically my house, would be a perfect place to film the movie. After one more meeting with the Crowleys, this time with my dad present, my parents agreed to the whole process.

I'm fairly certain that at that point time sped forward a couple weeks, and before I knew it the film adaptation of the book How to Eat Fried Worms was being filmed at my house. The many weeks they spent filming the movie were some of the best of my life. Amazing experience after amazing experience just kept coming.

I got to meet celebrities like Tom Cavanagh, who played J.D.'s brother on the television show Scrubs, and Hallie Eisenberg, that one girl from the Pepsi commercial and also the sister of Jesse Eisenberg (star of The Social Network and Zombieland). I also had the opportunity to be in the movie as well. It was really cool to be an extra in the movie, and it was easy money too. At one point I also got to be a hand model in one the scenes, which can be a surprisingly lucrative career for a middle schooler. During the shooting, the camera crews discovered that the main hallway of our house was too narrow for a full camera rig to be able to comfortably film in. Because of this, the film company ended up building a replica of my house in a studio in north Austin. I remember going to visit the set and absolutely loosing it. It was as if the world's largest printer had spat out an exact copy of my house, with all the little details from my room specifically included.

I can probably talk about the whole experience for days, but what I really valued was how it changed the way I connected with my family. How often does something crazy and unexpected like a movie being filmed in your house happen? While the movie was being filmed in our house, we were temporarily moved to a rented house. I was oddly happy about our “new home” being two stories tall, and I made sure to thank the film company for the upgrade. The whole filming process brought everyone closer together. Every new day was an exciting adventure and we all got to be involved in a once in a lifetime opportunity. My favorite memories came from swapping stories with my parents about which important movie person they had met that day and talking about what cool opportunities life had in store for the following day. I was completely and utterly happy.

Chapter 2: The Cousins

In which our hero learns of the wonder of animation and the danger of alcoholism

Every year my aunt Karen throws a Fourth of July party, and this year was no different. It was the summer after I had finished fifth grade, and I was excited to see all of my cousins in one place. Although I am an only child, my mother was one of nine children, so fortunately I have eighteen cousins who have always acted as my pseudo brothers and sisters. My aunt's backyard was the perfect place for us to play. There was a large expanse of grass for running around, a trampoline to jump on, a tree house to climb, a hammock to swing on, and a pool to swim in – the possibilities were endless.

I eagerly awaiting the arrival of my two cousins, Ben and Natalie. They were my only two cousins who were simultaneously close enough in age and proximity to Austin to play with. I had always looked up to Ben because he was a few years older than me, and in my eyes, possessed infinite wisdom. I consistently enjoyed spending time with Natalie because we were born within a couple months of each other and generally liked the same things. I knew that they would both be late, however, because that's how it always was with them; I don't think I ever once saw my aunt Maureen and my uncle Stephen, their parents, arrive on time for anything. I ran around the house absentmindedly until they came, completely ignorant to anything the adults were concerned with. My aunt's house was the perfect place for them to play. There was beer to drink, margaritas to drink, wine to drink, liquor to drink – the possibilities were endless.

Eventually my two cousins showed up and we had our usual good time. We swam, played, and laughed until we were too tired to do so any longer. Our family gatherings were always potluck style events; everyone brought something to contribute. We had the usual fare: hot dogs, hamburgers, and barbeque. Once it got dark, we lit sparklers, danced around and celebrated our nation's independence. Hooray. My cousins suggested that we go inside for dessert, and I followed them thinking it to be a splendid idea. I was excited because my aunt Maureen had brought along some toffee ice cream, and this would be the first time I would be able to have any since I got my braces off. We couldn't find any in the freezer, so we asked my aunt Maureen where it was.

That's when things started to get out of hand. Ben, Natalie, and I were standing in the kitchen when my aunt Maureen started chastising my uncle Stephen. It appeared that he had forgotten to pick up any toffee ice cream. Chastising turned to yelling, and from there everything escalated very quickly. I tried to speak up.

“It's really not that big of a deal. We have ice cream at home.”

I didn't know why neither of them seemed to notice me or listen to what I had said. We could still hear them arguing as my father dragged the three of us out of the kitchen and my mother mother grabbed all of our things and headed towards the door. I didn't really think much of it at the time. An impromptu cousins sleepover at my house seemed like an awesome idea.

When we got home, my parents did everything they could to lighten the mood. We ate ice cream, strawberry not toffee, and played board games for a while. The last thing we did was unfold our couch and transform it into a bed. Because I have a such a small family, we hardly ever had to do this, and I considered it to be a special occasion. The five of us laid on the newly made bed and watched the Lion King until we fell asleep. The Lion King is still my favorite movie, not just because it's one I enjoyed watching as a kid, but because it reminds me of a time when my family was truly there for one another and I honestly felt like I had a brother and sister.

Chapter 3: The Great-relatives

In which our hero discovers new connections

My phone vibrated in my pocket accompanied by a horrible siren ringtone which served as a warning that one of my parents was calling. I answered and heard my mother's voice. I could immediately tell she was upset from the way her voice was shaking.

“Your great-aunt Dorrace passed away last night.”

I didn't really know how to react. I had only met my great-aunt Dorrace a handful of times, and I don't often get the opportunity to see that side of my family much. I asked my mom how she was feeling about everything, and how she was taking the news. She said she would be fine, but that it might take a while.

“We will be coming up for the funeral is this weekend in Fort Worth. We'd love it if you came.”

“Of course. I'd be glad to. I can't to wait to see you both.”

Saturday came more quickly than expected. I woke up early, put on my Sunday best, and met my parents just outside my dorm. I was astonished at just how close the church was to campus. We turned just off Hulen and pretty soon we were on our way inside. We waited in a small room exchanging solemn hellos. As the service began I couldn't help but look around. I hardly ever go to church, and I hadn't been to funeral in eight or ten years. I have been fortunate enough to not encounter death much in my life. Once it was over, we left the building, filed into our cars and began the motorcade. After the burial ceremony we attended the reception at a relative's house.

I had never seen so many distant family members in my life. There were cousins of the first, second, and third variety. People talked to one another and exchanged stories about Dorrace and her husband Kirksey. I was surprised to learn that he had actually taught at TCU as an economics professor and also worked as a drill instructor for ROTC during his time at the university. I made my way through the kitchen, living room, dining room, and eventually touring the entire house talking with people. It appeared that for every one face I managed to recognize, there were two other three other new faces that I had yet to meet. By the time the whole ordeal was finished my palms and my back were sore from all the handshaking and bear-hugging that had transpired.

As we made our way out of the house, I felt a strange sense of duality. I had lost a relative, yet the funeral was not a lamentation of death, but rather a celebration of her life. Although Dorrace's candle had burned out, I met so many others that day that lit anew. At first I didn't know if it was cognitive dissonance or what exactly, but I felt simultaneously sad and happy.

The Conclusion

I believe if you were to slice me open, in one fell swoop, horizontally across my abdomen you could study me dendrochronologically. Just as a tree records its growth in yearly rings, I too reflect my changes internally. I started my life as a part of a very tight knit circle, my immediate family – mom, dad, and I – but over time my circle has grown. That circle is continually expanding, even now as it encompasses aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, great-aunts, great-uncles, and so on and so forth.